Relationship OCD (ROCD)
The home of research on relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder, from the Relationship OCD Research Unit led by Prof. Guy Doron and Dr. Danny Derby.
Struggling with relationship doubts?
Learn how relationship-focused obsessions and compulsions work, and what evidence-based treatment involves.
For researchers
Validated ROCD questionnaires, translations in eight languages, and the research our unit has published.
For clinicians
Guidance on assessing and treating ROCD with cognitive behavioral therapy, and training for therapists.
2010
Systematic ROCD research begins
2012
First ROCD papers published
8 languages
ROCI and PROCSI translations
Worldwide
What is relationship OCD?
By Prof. Guy Doron and Dr. Danny Derby, the researchers who first described and measured ROCD. Reviewed October 2026.
David, a 32-year-old man, enters my office and describes his problem: “I’ve been in a relationship for a year, but I can’t stop thinking about whether this is the right relationship for me. I see other woman on the street or on Facebook and I can’t stop thinking whether I will be happier with them? Whether I will feel more in love with them? I ask my friends what they think. I check what I feel for her all the time. I know I love my partner, but I have to check and recheck”. Jane, a 28 year-old woman, in a 2-year relationship, describes a different preoccupation: “I love my partner, I know I can’t live without him, but I can’t stop thinking he does not have the right body proportions. I know I love him, and I know these thoughts are not rational, he looks good. I hate myself for having these thoughts, I don’t think looks are all that important, but I just can’t get it out of my head. These thoughts just jump into my mind all the time. I can’t handle this anymore. It depresses me and ruins our relationship. I look at other men, I am attracted to other men, so I feel I can’t marry him like this. Why do I always have to compare his looks to other men’s?”.
David and Jane suffer from what is commonly referred to as Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (ROCD) — obsessive-compulsive symptoms that focus on intimate relationships. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an incapacitating disorder with a wide variety of obsessional themes including contamination fears, fear of harm to self or others, and scrupulosity (Abramowitz, McKay & Taylor, 2008). Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (ROCD) refers to an increasingly researched obsessional theme – romantic relationships. ROCD often involves preoccupation, doubts, and neutralizing behaviors centered on one’s feelings towards a relationship partner, the partner’s feelings towards oneself, and the “rightness” of the relationship experience (relationship-centered; Doron, Derby, Szepsenwol, & Talmor, 2012a). Relationship-related OC phenomena may also include disabling preoccupation with the perceived flaws of one’s relationship partner (partner-focused; Doron, Derby, Szepsenwol, & Talmor, 2012b).
This paper outlines a theory of ROCD and reviews recent findings. We argue that consideration of this obsessional theme may lead to a broader understanding of the development and maintenance of OCD, especially within a relational context. Although relationship-related obsessive-compulsive symptoms may occur in various types of relationships including people’s relationship with their parents, children, mentors, or even their God, in this paper we will refer to ROCD within the context of romantic relationships. Consistent with prior OCD-related theoretical work (e.g. Doron & Kyrios, 2005; Rachman, 1997; OCCWG, 1997), we propose several processes involved in the development and maintenance of ROCD and review initial evidence for their role in relationship obsessive-compulsive phenomena. We also argue that early childhood environments, and specifically parent-child relationships, influence the development of dysfunctional cognitive biases, self-perceptions, and attachment representations relevant to ROCD. Thus, this paper aims to extend the focus of current OCD research by exploring potential distal and proximal vulnerability factors that might contribute to the development and maintenance of ROCD-related dysfunctional beliefs and symptoms.
Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (ROCD): Phenomenology
ROCD is manifested in obsessive doubts and preoccupations regarding romantic relationships and compulsive behaviors performed in order to alleviate the distress associated with the presence and/or content of the obsessions. Relationship obsessions often come in the form of thoughts (e.g., “is he the right one?”) and images of the relationship partner, but can also occur in the form of urges (e.g., to leave one’s current partner). Compulsive behaviors in ROCD include, but are not limited to, repeated checking of one’s own feelings and thoughts toward the partner or the relationship, comparing partner’s characteristics or behaviors to others’, reassurance seeking, and self-reassurance. Relationship-related intrusions are often ego-dystonic as they contradict the individual’s subjective experience of the relationship (e.g., “I love her, but I can’t stop questioning my feelings”) or his or her personal values (e.g., “appearance should not be important in selecting a relationship partner”). Such intrusions are perceived as unacceptable and unwanted, and often bring about feelings of guilt and shame regarding their occurrence and/or content. For instance, individuals may feel shame about having critical thoughts about their partner’s intelligence, looks, or social competencies. Guilt and shame may also be associated with neutralizing behaviors, such as comparing one’s partner with other potential partners.
The age of onset of ROCD is unknown. In our clinic, clients presenting with ROCD often report the onset of symptoms in early adulthood. In such cases, ROCD symptoms seem to persist throughout the individuals’ history of romantic relationships. Some individuals, however, trace back the onset of their ROCD symptoms to the first time they faced commitment-related romantic decisions (e.g., getting married, having children). Although ROCD symptoms can occur outside of an ongoing romantic relationship (e.g., obsessing about past or future relationships), such symptoms seem to be most distressing and debilitating when experienced in the course of an ongoing romantic relationship.
The dyadic context provides abundant triggers of relationship-centered and partner-focused OC phenomena. Nevertheless, for some individuals, ROCD symptoms may be activated by the termination of a romantic relationship. In this case, people may report being obsessively preoccupied with their previous partner “being the right one” and “missing the ONE”. Such cases are frequently associated with extreme fear of anticipated regret and are commonly accompanied by self-reassuring behaviors (e.g., recalling the reasons for relationship termination), compulsive comparisons (i.e., with current partners), and compulsive recollection of previous experiences (e.g., relationship conflicts). Other people report avoiding romantic relationships altogether for dread of hurting others (e.g., “I will drive her crazy”; “It will be a lie”) or fear of re-experiencing ROCD symptoms. For instance, clients may report avoiding second dates for years for fear of obsessing about the flaws of their partners or their partners becoming overly attached to them.
How the ROCD cycle works
Most people have unwanted thoughts about their relationship from time to time. In ROCD, these thoughts get caught in a cycle (Doron, Derby & Szepsenwol, 2014). An ordinary trigger brings an intrusion, such as “I don’t feel anything right now”. The intrusion is read as a sign that something is wrong, which brings distress and a pressing need for certainty. Checking feelings, comparing or seeking reassurance can bring brief relief, but it also makes the doubt seem more important, so the next trigger meets a more watchful mind. This is why treatment works on the cycle itself, rather than trying to settle the question about the relationship.
You can find additional articles on ROCD on this Psychology Today blog.
Key findings from ROCD research
A few findings from studies by our unit and by colleagues abroad. Most of this research is correlational and much of it uses community samples, so it describes patterns that tend to go together, not proven causes.
Two forms of ROCD
Relationship-centered symptoms focus on one’s own feelings, the partner’s feelings and the “rightness” of the relationship. Partner-focused symptoms focus on a partner’s perceived flaws. Each has its own questionnaire, the ROCI and the PROCSI (Doron et al., 2012a; 2012b).
Comparable in severity to other OCD
In a clinical study of 22 people with ROCD, 22 people with other forms of OCD and 28 community controls, the ROCD and OCD groups did not differ in the severity of their main symptoms. People with ROCD were more likely to overestimate the consequences of being in the wrong relationship (Doron et al., 2016).
Replicated by an independent team
In 124 people who reported an ROCD diagnosis from a clinician, perfectionistic concern over mistakes, doubts about actions and catastrophic beliefs about being in the wrong relationship or being alone were linked with relationship-centered symptoms (Melli et al., 2018).
Costs beyond the individual
ROCD symptoms were linked with lower sexual satisfaction, over and above depression, general worry, OCD symptoms and attachment orientation. Lower relationship satisfaction accounted for this link (Doron et al., 2014).
Talking about ROCD symptoms
A conversation about ROCD hosted by the International OCD Foundation.
ocd.app: a CBT self-help app
ocd.app was co-created by Prof. Guy Doron and offers short daily CBT exercises, including a track for relationship OCD. According to its developers, it is based on 22 published research papers. An app is not a substitute for therapy, and it is not designed to tell anyone whether their relationship is the right one.
Frequently asked questions about ROCD
What is the difference between ordinary relationship doubts and ROCD?
Doubts and mixed feelings are a normal part of close relationships, especially at times of change. The difference is usually not in the content of the thought but in what happens after it. In ROCD, the doubt returns again and again, causes marked distress, and sets off checking, comparing or reassurance-seeking that brings only brief relief. These are points on a continuum rather than two neat boxes, and no checklist can settle the question for a particular relationship.
Is ROCD a formal diagnosis?
ROCD is not a separate category in the DSM-5-TR. It is diagnosed as obsessive-compulsive disorder, using the standard criteria, when the obsessions and compulsions center on a close relationship. In this sense it is similar to other OCD themes, such as contamination or harm.
How is ROCD treated?
ROCD is treated with cognitive behavioral therapy for OCD, especially exposure and response prevention, adapted to relationship themes. Treatment aims to reduce checking, comparing and reassurance-seeking, not to persuade a person to stay in the relationship or to leave it. The evidence comes mainly from the wider OCD literature, case reports and app-based studies, and controlled trials of a dedicated ROCD protocol are still needed. Read more about assessment and treatment.
Does having ROCD mean my relationship is fine?
Not necessarily. ROCD describes how a person handles doubt. It does not tell us whether a particular relationship is good. People with ROCD can be in good relationships, difficult ones, or ones that are not right for them. Violence, threats, coercion, humiliation or control are not ROCD symptoms and should never be explained away as “just OCD”. Where safety is a concern, it comes first.
Can ROCD occur outside romantic relationships?
Yes. Most research has focused on romantic relationships, but similar obsessive-compulsive symptoms have been described in other close relationships, such as between parents and children, and in a person’s relationship with God. Read more about the different forms.
This site offers information, not a diagnosis or a substitute for assessment by a professional who knows OCD.
Take part in ROCD research
Our research depends on people willing to share their experience. See the studies currently looking for participants.